Preface
"The Exegesis of Philip K. Dick has too long remained a terra
incognita. As a practical matter, that is hardly surprising: The unpublished
form of the Exegesis consists of over eight thousand pages without
a unifying numbered sequence, most of which were handwritten in a
scrawling script, and all of which were arbitrarily sorted into ninety-one
manila folders following Dick's death in 1982. Thus, while the 1980's
saw the posthumous first publication of numerous Dick mainstream novels
of the 1950s, the Exegesis remained out of view as an archival nightmare.
But one with a curious legendary status..."
Excerpts
"I Speak of The Restorer of What Was Lost
The Mender of What Was Broken
March 16, 1974: It appeared -
in vivid fire, with shining colors and balanced patterns - and released
me from every thrall, inner and outer.
March 18, 1974: It, from inside
me, looked out and saw the world did not compute, that I - and it
- had been lied to. It denied the reality, and power, and authenticity
of this world, saying, "This cannot exist; it cannot exist."
March 20, 1974: It seized me
entirely, lifting me from the limitations of the space-time matrix;
it mastered as, at the same instant, I knew that the world around
me was cardboard, a fake. Through its power I saw suddenly the universe
as it was; through its power of perception I saw what really existed,
and through its power of no-thought decision, I acted to free myself.
It took on in battle, as a champion of all human spirits in thrall,
every evil, every Iron Imprisoning thing.
March 20 until late July, 1974:
It received signals and knew how to give ceaseless battle, to defeat
the tyranny which had entered by slow degrees our free world, our
pure world; it fought and destroyed tirelessly each and every one
of them, and saw them all clearly, with dislike; its love was for
justice and truth beyond everything else.
August 1974 on: It waned, but
only as the adversary in all its forms waned and perished. When it
left me, it left me as a free person, a physically and mentally healed
person who had seen reality suddenly, in a flash, at the moment of
greatest peril and pain and despair; it had loaned me its power and
it had set right what had by degrees become wrong over God knows how
long. It came just prior to the vernal equinox or at it. The Jews
call it Elijah; the Christians call it the Holy Spirit. The Greeks
called it Dionysus-Zagreus. It thought, in my dreams, mostly in Greek,
referring to Elijah in the greek form: Elias. Gradually its fierceness
turned to a gentle quality and it seemed like Jesus, but it was still
Zagreus, still the god of springtime. Finally it became the god of
mirth and joy and music, perhaps a mere man, Orpheus, and after that,
a punning, funning mortal, Erasmus. But underneath, whenever it might
be necessary again, Zeus himself, Ela or Eloim, the Creator and Advocate,
is there; he never dies; he only slumbers and listens. The lamb of
Jesus is also the tyger which Blake described; it, which came to me
and to our republic, contains both, is both. It - he - has no name,
neither god nor force, man or entity; He is everywhere and everything;
He is outside us and inside us. He is, above all, the friend of the
weak and the foe of the Lie. He is the Aton, He is The Friend."
(Philip K. Dick, March 21, 1971)
"The architect of our world, to
help us, came here as our servant, disguised, to toil for us. We have
seen him many times but no [one] recognized him; maybe he is ugly
in appearence, but with a good heart. Perhaps sometimes when he comes
here he has
forgotten his own origin, his godly power; he toils for us unaware
of his true nature and what he could do to us if he remembered. For
one thing, if we realized that this crippled, misshapen thing was
our creator, we would be disappointed. Would reject and despise him.
Out of courtesy to us he hides his identity from us while here.
One can see from this that that which we kick off to one side of the
road, out of the way, which feels the toe of our boot - that may well
be our God, albeit unprotesting, only showing pain in his eyes, that
old, old pain that he knows so well. I notice, though, that although
we kick him off to one side in pain, we do let him toil for us; we
accept that. We accept his work, his offerings, his help; but him
we kick away. He could reveal himself, but he would then spoil our
illusion of a beautiful god. But he doesn't look evil, like Satan;
just homely. Unworthy. Also, although he has vast creative and building
power, and judgment, he is not clever. He is not a bright god. Often,
he is too dumb to know when he's being teased or insulted; it takes
physical pain, rather than mere scorn, to register.
Ugly like this, despised and teased and tormented and finally put
to death, he returned shining and transfigured; our Savior, Jesus
Christ (before him Ikhnaton, Zoroaster, etc; Hefestus [or Hephaestus]).
When He returned we saw Him as he really is - that is, not by surface
appearance. His radiance, his essence, like Light. The God of Light
wears a humble and plain shell here (like a metamorphosis of some
humble toiling beetle).
SF novel: Hefestus as VALIS (Vast Active
Living Intelligence System).
The Earth like St. Sofia is an organism,
a living one, being built, a Temple that when it is ready the Lord
will suddenly come to and dwell in. He Himself is creator: architect.
Workmen/artisans/artists: Us and Holy Spirit. Ideal Logos/form: Christ,
to be achieved. The model once glimpsed then to be striven for and
reached, at which time Architect (Creator), Holy Spirit, and Ideal
become One, which includes us within it as bits. Creator: Time past.
Holy Spirit: time is. Christ: time completed. Holy Spirit guides us
toward Him. Force is provided by the Creator at the start. Force/activity/direction
to goal."
(circa 1975)
* * *
I do seem attracted to
trash, as if the clue - the clue - lies there. I'm always ferreting
out elliptical points, odd angles. What I write doesn't make a whole
lot of sense. There is fun & religion & psychotic horror strewn
about like a bunch of hats. Also, there is a social or sociological
drift - rather than toward the hard sciences. The overall impression
is childish but interesting. This is not a sophisticated person writing.
Everything is equally real, like junk jewels in the alley. A fertile,
creative mind seeing constantly shifting sets, the serious made funny,
the funny sad, the horrific exactly that; utterly horrific as it is
the touchstone of what is real: horror is real because it can injure[...]
* * *
I certainly see the randomness in my
work, & also see how this fast shuffling of possibility after
possibility might eventually, given enough time, juxtapose & disclose
something important & automatically overlooked in more orderly
thinking[...] Since nothing absolutely nothing is excluded (as not
worth being included) I profer a vast mixed bag - out of it I shake
coin-operated doors & God. It's a fucking circus. I'm like a sharp-eyed
crow, spying anything that twinkles & grabbing it up to add to
my heap.
Anyone with my attitude just might stumble onto, by sheer chance &
luck - in his actual life, which is to say, the life of his mind -
the authentic camouflaged God, the deus absconditus, by trying odd
combinations of things & places, like a high speed (sic) computer
processing everything, he might outdazzle even a wary God, might catch
him by surprise by poking somewhere unexpectedly. If it is true that
the real answers (& authentic absolute vs the merely seeming)
are where we would least expect them, this "try it all"
technique might - might take at face value as true the most wornout,
most worked over & long ago discarded obvious "staring us
in the face all the time" as the crux of the mystery.[...]
This kind of fascinated, creduluos, inventive person might be granted
the greatest gift of all. To see the toymaker who has generated -
& is with or within - all his toys. That the Godhead is a toymaker
at all - who could seriously (sic) believe this?[...]
Too dumb to know you don't look for God in the trash of the gutter
instead of Heaven.
* * *
The architect of our world, to help
us, came here as our servant, disguised, to toil for us. We have seen
him many times but no [one] recognized him; maybe he is ugly in appearence,
but with a good heart. Perhaps sometimes when he comes here he has
forgotten his own origin, his godly power; he toils for us unaware
of his true nature and what he could do to us if he remembered. For
one thing, if we realized that this crippled, misshapen thing was
our creator, we would be disappointed. Would reject and despise him.
Out of courtesy to us he hides his identity from us while here.
* * *
One can see from this that that which
we kick off to one side of the road, out of the way, which feels the
toe of our boot - that may well be our God, albeit unprotesting, only
showing pain in his eyes, that old, old pain that he knows so well.
I notice, though, that although we kick him off to one side in pain,
we do let him toil for us; we accept that. We accept his work, his
offerings, his help; but him we kick away. He could reveal himself,
but he would then spoil our illusion of a beautiful god. But he doesn't
look evil, like Satan; just homely. Unworthy. Also, although he has
vast creative and building power, and judgment, he is not clever.
He is not a bright god. Often, he is too dumb to know when he's being
teased or insulted; it takes physical pain, rather than mere scorn,
to register.
Ugly like this, despised and teased and tormented and finally put
to death, he returned shining and transfigured; our Savior, Jesus
Christ (before him Ikhnaton, Zoroaster, etc; Hefestus [or Hephaestus]).
When He returned we saw Him as he really is - that is, not by surface
appearance. His radiance, his essence, like Light. The God of Light
wears a humble and plain shell here (like a metamorphosis of some
humble toiling beetle).
SF novel: Hefestus as VALIS (Vast Active Living Intelligence System).
The Earth like St. Sofia is an organism, a living one, being built,
a Temple that when it is ready the Lord will suddenly come to and
dwell in. He Himself is creator: architect. Workmen/artisans/artists:
Us and Holy Spirit. Ideal Logos/form: Christ, to be achieved. The
model once glimpsed then to be striven for and reached, at which time
Architect (Creator), Holy Spirit, and Ideal become One, which includes
us within it as bits. Creator: Time past. Holy Spirit: time is. Christ:
time completed. Holy Spirit guides us toward Him. Force is provided
by the Creator at the start. Force/activity/direction to goal.
* * *
"God manifested himself to me as
the infinite void; but it was not the abyss; it was the vault of heaven,
with blue sky and wisps of white clouds. He was not some foreign God
but the God of my fathers. He was loving and kind and he had peronality.
He said, "You suffer a little now in life; it is little compard
with the great joys, the bliss, that awaits you. Do you think I in
my theodicy would allow you to suffer greatly in proportion to your
reward?" He made me aware, then, of the bliss that would come;
it was infinite and sweet. He said, "I am the infinite. I will
show you. Where I am, infinity is; where infinity is, there I am.
Construct lines of reasoning by which to understand your experience
in 1974. I will enter the field against their shifting nature. You
think they are logical but they are not; they are infinitely creative."
"I thought a thought and then an
infinite regression theses and countertheses came into being. God
said, "Here I am; here is infinity." I thought another explanation;
again an infinite series of thoughts split off in dialectical antithetical
interaction. God said, "Here is infinity; here I am." I
thought, then, an infinite number of explanations, in succession,
that explained 2-3-74; each single one ofthem yielded up an antithesis,
forever. Each time, God said, "Here is infinity. Here, then,
I am." I tried for an infinite number of times; each time an
infinite regress was set off and each time God said, "Infinity.
Hence I am here." Then he said, "Every thought leads to
infinity, does it not? Find one that doesn't." I tried forever.
All led to an infinitude of regress, of the dialectic, of thesis,
antithesis and new synthesis. Each time, God said, "Here is infinity;
here am I. Try again." I tried forever. Always it ended with
God saying, "Infinity and myself; I am here." I saw, then,
a Hebrew letter with many shafts, and all the shafts led to a common
outlet; that outlet or conclusion was infinity. God said, "That
is myself. I am infinity. Where infinity is, there am I; where I am,
there is infinity. All roads--all explanations for 2-3-74 -- lead
to an infinity of Yes-No, This or That, On-Off, One-Zero, Yin Yang,
the dialectic, infinity upon infinity, an infinities [sic] of infinities.
[The sic is Sutin. Did Dick drop the "d" -- was it "and
infinities and infinities"? Makes more sense] I am everywhere
and all roads lead to me; omniae viae ad Deum ducent [all roads lead
to God]. Try again. Think of another possible explanation for 2-3-74."
I did; it led to an infinity of regress, of thesis and antithesis
and new synthesis. "This is not logic, " God said. "Do
not think in terms of abolute theories; think in terms of probabilities.
Watch where the piles heap up, of the same theory essentially repeating
itself. Count the number of punch cards in each pile. Which pile is
highest? Here is your clue: every theory leads to an infinity (or
regression, of thesis and new synthesis). What, then, is the probability
that I am the cause of 1-3-74, since, where infinity is, there I am?
You doubt; you are the doubt as in:
They reckon ill who leave me out;
When me they fly I am the wings.
I am the doubter and the doubt...
"You are not the doubter; you are
the doubt itself. So do not try to know; you cannot know. Guess on
the basis of the highest pile of computer punch cards. There is an
infinite stack in the heap marked INFINITY, and I have equated infinity
with me. What, then, is the chance that it is me? You cannot be positive;
you will doubt. But what is your guess?"
"I said, "Probably it is you
since there is an infinity of infinities forming before me."
"There is the answer, the only
one you will ever have," God said.
"You could be pretending to be
God," I said, "and actually be Satan." Another infinitude
of thesis and antithesis and new synthesis, the infinite regress,
was set off.
"God said, "Infinity."
"I said, "You could be testing
out a logic system in a giant computer and I am --" Again an
infinite regress.
"Infinity," God said.
"Will it always be infinite?"
I said. "An infinity?"
"Try further," God said.
"I doubt if you exist," I
said. And the infinite regress instantly flew into motion once more.
"Infinity," God said. The
pile of computer punch cards grew; it was by far the largest pile;
it was infinite.
"I will play this game forever,"
God said, "or until you become tired."
"I said, "I will find a thought,
an explanation, a theory, that does not set off an infinite regress."
And, as soon as I said that, an infinite regress was set off. God
said "Over a period of six and a half years you have developed
theory after theory to explain 2-3-74. Each night when you go to bed
you think, "At last I found it. I tried out theory after theory
until now, finally, I have the right one.' And then the next morning
you wake up and said, "There is one fact not explained by that
theory. I will have to think up another theory.' And so you do. By
now it is evident to you that you are going to think up an infinite
number of theories, limited only by your lifespan, not limited by
your creative imagination. Each theory gives rise to a subsequent
theory, inevitably. Let me ask you; I revealed myself to you and you
saw that I am the infinite void. I am not in the world, as you thought;
I am transcendent, the deity of the Jews and Christians. What you
see of me in the world that you took to ratify pantheism--that is
my being filtered through, broken up, fragmented and vitiated by the
multiplicity of the flux world; it is my essense, yes, but only a
bit of it: fragments here and there, a glint, a riffle of wind...now
you have seen me transcendent, separate and other from world, and
I am more; I am the infinitude of the void, and you know me as I am.
Do you believe what you saw? Do you accept that where the infinite
is, I am; and where I am, there is the infinite?"
"I said, "Yes."
" "And your theories are infinite,
so I am there. Without realizing it, the very infinitude of your theories
pointed to the solution; they pointed to me and none but me. Are you
satisfied, now? You saw me revealed in theophany; I speak to you now;
you have, while alive, experienced the bliss that is to come; few
humans have experienced that bliss. Let me ask you, Was it finite
bliss or an infinite bliss?"
"I said, "Infinite."
" "So no earthly circumstance,
situation, entity or thing could give rise to it."
" "No, Lord," I said.
" "Then it is I," God
said. "Are you satisfied?"
" "Let me try one other theory,"
I said. "What happened in 2-3-74 was that--" And an infinite
regress was set off, instantly.
" "Infinity," God said.
"Try again. I will play forever, for infinity."
" "Here's a new theory,"
I said. "I ask mayself, 'What God likes playing games? Krishna.
You are Krishna.'" And then the thought came to me instantly,
"But there is a god who mimics other gods; that god is Dionysus.
This may not be Krishna at all; it may be Dionysus pretending to be
Krishna." And an infinite regress was set off.
" "Infinity," God said.
" "You cannot be YHWH Who
You say You are," I said. "Because YHWH says, 'I am that
which I am,' or, 'I shall be that which I shall be.' And you--"
" "Do I change?" God
said. "Or do your theories change?"
" "You do not change,"
I said. "My theories change. You, and 2-3-74, remain constant."
" "Then you are Krishna playing
with me," God said.
" "Or I could be Dionysus,"
I said, "pretending to be Krishna. And I wouldn't know it; part
of the game is that I, myself, do not know. So I am God, without realizing
it. There's a new theory!" And at once an infinite regress was
set off; perhaps I was God, and the "God" who spoke was
to me was not.
" "Infinity," God said.
"Play again. Another move."
" "We are both Gods,"
I said, and another infinite regress was set off.
" "Infinity," God said.
" "I am you and you are you."
I said. "You have divided yurself in two to play against yourself.
I, who am one half, I do not remember, but you do. As it says in the
GITA, as Krishna says to Arjuna, 'We have both lived many lives, Arjuna;
I remember them but you do not.'" And an infinite regress was
set off; I could well be Krishna's charioteer, his friend Arjuna,
who does not remember his past lives.
" "Infinity," God said.
"I was silent.
" "Play again," God said.
" "I cannot play to infinity,"
I said. "I will die before that point comes"
" " Then you are not God,"
God said. "But I can play through infinity; I am God. Play."
" "Perhaps I will be reincarnated,"
I said. "Perhaps we have done this before, in another life."
And an infinite regress was set off.
" "Infinity," God said.
"Play again."
" "I am too tired," I
said.
" "Then the game is over."
" "After I have rested --"
" "You rest? God said. "George
Herbert wrote of me:
Yet let them keep the rest,
But keep them with repining restlessnesse.
Let him be rich and wearie, that at
least,
If goodness leade him not, yet wearinesse
May tosse him to my breast.
" "Herbert wrote that in 1633,"
God said. "Rest and the game ends."
" "I will play on," I
said, "after I rest. I will play until finally I die of it."
" "And then you will come
to me," God said. "Play."
" "This is my punishment,"
I said, "that I play, that I try to discern if it was you in
March of 1974." And the thought came instantly, My punishment
or my reward; which? And an infinite series of theses and antithesis
was set off.
" "Infinity," God said.
"Play again."
"What is my crime?" I said,
"that I am compelled to do this?"
" "Or your deed of merit,"
God said.
" "I don't know," I said.
"God said, "Because you are
not God."
" "But you know," I said.
"Or maybe you don't know and you're trying to find out."
And an infinite regress was set off.
" "Infinity," God said.
"Play again. I am waiting.""
(17 November 1980)
* * *
"God said that I couldn't know
with certainty, but, instead, to watch where the computer punch cards
piled up. Okay.
"1) As late as 11-16-80 (the day
Ray arrived) I theorized that Valis was the macrometasomakosmos and
"second signal" and that this was the Cosmic Christ, not
disguised as an invader in our universe but assembling itself out
of our universe. So here you have the Cosmic Christ, seen in 3-74.
"2) In my anmnesis I remembered
being a Christian, of the first century C.E. This was "Thomas."
He brought with him the original sacraments
of the apostolic secret church.
"3) On 11-17-80 I experienced a
theophany and God turned out to be the Christian God, of love (his
nature was love). He told me that my problem was that I could not
believe I had seen him, specifically him, in 3-74.
"4) Small details. Disinhibition
by the Christian fish sign. The Acts material in TEARS. Seeing the
world of Acts. Remembering the supratemporal eidos of the secret underground
revolutionary Christians, of which I am one, battling the Black Iron
Prison; what I call realm #3 or morphological arrangement.
"The first three; let us consider.
"1) Possibility that Valis (the
macrometasomakosmos and "second signal") are the Cosmic
Christ.
"2) Thomas was a secret early Christian.
"3) When God reveled himself to
me in a theophany he was the Christian God, specifically.
"Don't these all fit together?
Look at how the computer cards fall; look at the distribution. (3)
is proved; He proved who he was by causing me to experience infinite
bliss. Oh yes:
"Regarding (4), the A.I. voice's
initital statement was: "St Sophia will be born again; she was
not acceptable before." Another small item.
"How do the computer punch cards
fall now, with the addition? Mention of St. Sophia (Christ), the Christian
God-- who told me that my theorizing in the exegesis was not logical
but infinitely creative; and he would take the field and block my
endless speculations."
[This is from IN PURSUIT OF VALIS,
pps 45 thru 52. The punch cards are of course a metaphor for the chaotic
concept of the Strange Attractor -- with its Phase Envelope. But remember
that things can also become Phase Entangled, and that the essence
of soma (mixture) is phase entanglement of different psychoactive
plants, in the brain, to give access to the Dreamtime.]
And from page 59-61:
"Footnote.
"My flight expressed by the phosphene
graphics was a movement faster & faster through cosmogenic-entropic
time, ending in exhaustion & then the enantiodromia of entropic
time--which had reached infinite velocity & infinite fragmentation
("splitting")--which is to say the dialectic into negentropic
time or synthesis, re-integration: hence I saw Valis, the universe
pulled through infinity, inside out, to freeze; this was 3-74.
"My exegesis was entropic-cosmogenic
time resuming, speeding up faster & faster, "splitting"
(fragmenting) farther and farther. Finally, it, too, ended in infinite
velocity & infinite fragmentation (creativity, expressed as ever
newer & quicker theories); it ended in exhaustion & then the
enantiodromia of entropic time--the dialectic of my thoughts--into
negentropic time & another reintegration (this was 11-17-80).
Only this time I did not see Valis (world not God as I had supposed),
there was a theophany, & I was in the presence of God & God's
loving-kindness; whereupon He explained everything to me. So events
leading up to 3-74 & my experience with Valis had a parallled
in the dialectic of my exegesis leading to 11-17-80 & the theophany
of the Christian God of Love. The common ingredients of the two flights
were: the cosmogenic-entropy "splitting" dialectic flight
itself, until infinite velocity (time) & fragmentation (space)
were reached, then exhaustion, then enantiodromia into negentropic
time & "freeze" (reintegrational) of so-to-speak, "Prajapati"
(Sanskrit "Lord of Creatures", demiurgic figure mentioned
frequently in the RIG VEDA), but then comes a toatlly different outcome:
"1) 3-74. Valis which is world
properly seen (morphological arrangement, growth & perfection
& self completion in negentropic time, the entropic--flux--universe
pulled through infinity--i.e., inside out). Compared to:
"2) 11-17-80. The Christian God
in theophany, who is other than world, who is transcendent. What I
thought I had seen in 3-74:
"The summation (combining) of the
two is 1) an acute knowledge of world based on 3-74 & the exegesis
arising out of that experience. 2) Direct knowledge of God & God's
nature based on the above elements: so that 3-74 led to the exegesis,
which although it was a loss of negentropic, integrative time &
a resumption of cosmogenic-entropic time, did lead (due to the infinite
speeding up of time & the infinite breaking down of space until
exhaustion set in) to the theophany I had supposed I had already had.
"Now it is possible to see how
the Mary Jane (PKD HAD SMOKED SOME ON 11-17-80) fitted in;
it added the final push to the dialectic in me, my exegesis (in other
words, as preceded 3-74, my thinking) so that it reached infinite
speed & infinite space, exhausted itself; & again, as before,
enantiodromia set in. This enantiodromia did not have to do with world,
however, but had to do with the human intellct striving to find God--futilely.
(Futilely until the last great enantiodromia occurred & God took
the field to block the dialectic of my thinking himself, & thus
revealed himself.
"So there is a striking parallel--a
logical, structural parallel--between 3-74 & 11-17-80, but in
another, more profound respect the two are mirror opposites--since
the first is a vision of world (which I thought was God, yet it was
not, & so it yielded no knowledge directly about God, but only
inferential knowledge that he existed & that he had saved me--in
pronoia [foreknowledge]) & the second is a genuine theophany.
When one realizes that world & God are wholly other to each other
(Satan rules world) then this mirror-opposite situation can be appreciated.
Let me add, too, that total revelation about world doesn't yield knowledge
of God. God entered when I became aware that my theorizing was carrying
me into an infinite regrees, which is to say, when I became exhausted--at
which point enantiodromia occurred; intellect had proven futile &
yet, paradoxically, it had led to God--but due to God's volitional
initiative. His (as I call it) taking the field, which is an inbreaking
by the divine.
"The circumstances under which
the theophany occurred (I gave up on the exegesis & kicked back
& massively turned on) are not capricious causes but follow the
logic of the dialectic along several axes.
"This shows the hauntingly eerie
paradoxical (almost whimsical or playful) nature of enlightenment:
it comes to you only when you cease to pursue it. When you totally
and finally give up...."
* * *
What do you make of this?
An orthodox substance abuse counselor
would say nothing that came from smoking a joint could have any validity.
Therefore the revelations of '74, which were probably the fruit of
endogenous beta-carolines (nor-harman, endogenous harmala alkaloid)
flooding his brain as a result of a mini-stroke or seizure, might
be genuine, but 11/17/80 could not be. Just a pot high.
(Of course in SCANNER, it was the
drug rehabs themselves that were manufacturing Slow-D!)
My perspective is somewhat different:
Although spiritual experiences are
not automatic with these substances, due to random factors, the PHYSICAL
SUBSTRATE must be right for such experiences to occur. The dream circuits
must be activated, whether by seizure, stroke, ordinary or waking
REM, or through exogenous plant alkaloids that activate the same (NMDA
and BZD) receptors.
I know you may be so put off by this
whole issue that you may not really be "listening," but
without conceding that Ibogaine is not just another drug of abuse
but an actual broad-spectrum addiction interrupter, compare what you
just read to the following--
"One of the rather striking things I believe I learned was that
our human physical body is, in reality, a highly ingenious and very
amusing trick of the light. It's essentially the 3D holographic construct,
(a hologram), that results from the interraction of laser light with
holographic plates at a multi-dimensional level.
"Furthermore, there are in fact
a whole array of higher "spiritual" bodies, (some of which
are immortal), superposed on top of it in multi-dimensional space.
The reason we are not really aware of these most of the time is down
to the ingenuity of the design. We're not really supposed to be.
"The illusion we start to maintain
from birth, therefore, is that we are solely physical.
"The idea of an outside world
and inner physical space that we typically conceptualize in our daily
life is, therefore, not very accurate. (If you think about it, everything
we sense exists only inside what we conceive of as our head.) Our
World is merely a projection. It appears this way because it's designed
to appear this way.
"The reason we're not aware
of this most of the time is because the human physical body and its'
existence is, in fact, a sophisticated learning tool for our higher
spiritual bodies. If we were ordinarily aware of our higher spiritually
bodies, the learning tool would not function.
"As a people, therefore, we
are here to learn. It is the act of learning that justifies our continued
existence."
As I told Nick Sandberg, who wrote
this in January, this seems to come straight out of VALIS -- especially
the discussion of "the maze we put ourselves in" toward
the end.
My point is that the same betacarbolines
turn out to be involved in the cascade of endogenous neurochemicals
which is set off by pot, and is especially intense after long abstinence
for some one who's been sensitized by previous exposure. For that
reason (ordinary daily use dulls the response) the plant drugs that
went into the soma mixture which the Magi used to access the Dreamtime
(harmala, ephedra, cannabis) were taboo for any one but the priesthood,
and even for the priests, were ordinarily replaced by denatured surrogates
(pomegranate, domestic rue instead of wild rue) intended to represent
soma magically. (See Flattery & Schwartz, or BLUE TIDE.)
The marijuana effect is more related
to Ayahuasca or Ibogaine than to coke and dope or even acid, because
acid is an indole (2 ring) serotonin analog, whereas marijuana upon
first use creates a melatonin spike that turns into a bunch of harmaloid
metabolites, besides being active via the cannabidiol directly at
the NMDA receptor.
NMDA receptor activity during ordinary
REM is how our bodies naturally recovers from narcotic craving and
withdrawal. So you're talking about two things that are really opposites,
and conflating them. The antidote is not the poison, although it may
be a poison itself. Hence my reference to Paracelsus.
This matter is relevant for me because
I am preparing a monograph on literary and historical aspects for
the forthcoming N.Y.U. Conference which will incorporate material
on PKD's experiences, and I was hoping to get feedback during some
quieter time this summer from various PKD lists.
I don't think his position is pathetic
or that it requires elevation. Like the story of the discovery of
the benzene ring in a dream, the bit in Valis about the early Christians
having certain rituals and sacraments which caused the firing of blocked
or repressed memories lead me ineluctably to the stuff on microtubules
and the concept of mind as laser light; and this, Dr. Ken Alper says,
was a great intuition which advanced understanding in the field thru
a leap to the next level of complexity--the substrate of the Ibogaine
phenomena that we had become familiar with (And also lead ineluctably
back to the secret sacrment of the early Chistians, and a forensic
explanation of the resurrection. Question: Given the discussion of
sacraments in Valis, how could the vinegar and gall, so phase-entangled
with the Grail, not be touch by the blood of the Lamb?)
Except that the intuition was not
mine. It belongs to a dead guy, who should at least get credit. I'm
just another mathematician trying to solve Fermatt's lat theorem.
Here's the passage in question:
"48. ON OUR NATURE. It is proper
to say: we appear to be memory coils (DNA carriers capable of experience)
in a computer-like thinking system which, although we have correctly
recorded and stored thousands of years of experiential information,
and each of us possesses somewhat different deposits from all the
other lifeforms, there is a malfunction--a failure--of memory retrieval.
There lies the trouble in our particular subcircuit. "Salvation"
through gnosis--more properly anamnesis (the loss of amnesia)--although
it has individual significance for each of us--a quantum leap in perception,
identity, cognition, understanding, world- and self-experience, including
immortality--it has greater and further importance for the system
as a whole, inasmuch as these memories are data needed by it and valuable
to it, to its overall functioning.
"Therefore it is in the process
of self-repair, which includes: rebuilding our subcircuit via linear
and orthogonal time changes, as well as continual signaling to us
to stimulate blocked memory banks within us to fire and hence retrieve
what is there.
"The external information or
gnosis, then, consists of disinhibiting instructions, with the core
content actually intrinsic to us--that is, already there (first observed
by Plato; viz: that learning is a form of remembering.)
"The ancients possessed techiques
(sacraments and rituals) used largely in the Greco-Roman mystery religions,
including early Christianity, to induce firing and retrieval, mainly
with a sense of its restorative value to the individuals; the Gnostics,
however, correctly saw the ontological value to what they called the
Godhead itself, the total entity." (VALIS, Appendix, pps 138-139)
What's important is that this passage
describes Ibogainelike phenomena in some specificity. The underlying
model here is clearly fiber-optical, and sure enough, we encounter
all the same stuff once again in the appendix of "Quantum Coherence
in Microtubules". So the decision to put "Quantum Coherence"--even
though years from being proven--into THE IBOGAINE STORY, [because
it was obvious the NMDA receptor activity involved was doing the same
thing REM sleep does for natural recovery], ultimately provided a
handy model for devising of better EEG measurements of the quantum
"Eigen" states of brain activity that Dr. Ken is now doing
on a NIDA grant.
When John Campbell was editing ASTOUNDING,
the measure of what was the best S.F. was which story came most true.
Which writer came closest to describing, in the 50's and 60's, the
world of 1999. You've got to remember how little was written on Ibogaine
in 1990 to appreciate how useful stuff from PKD's exegesis was in
telling us where to go look next-- and the massive concordance of
Ibo phenomena--Check out the "golden rectangle" in Nico's
encounter with the Supreme Being in http://www.cures-not-wars.org/ibogaine/iboga.html
Chapter 8--with the subject matter in VALIS, RADIO FREE ALBEMUTH,
DIVINE INVASION, & TRANSMIGRATION OF TIMOTHY ARCHER (Which is
about Bishop James Pike). I have a whole recommended reading list,
but being turned on to VALIS by Norman Spinrad in 1981 was like being
handed a roadmap for the Ibogaine project in the very beginning.
* * *
We appear to be memory
coils (DNA carriers capable of experience) in a computer-like thinking
system that, although we have correctly recorded and stored thousands
of years of experimental information (knowledge, gnosis), and each
of us possesses a somewhat different deposit from all the other life
forms, there is a malfunction--a failure--of memory retrieval. There
lies the trouble in our particular subcircuit. "Salvation"
through gnosis - more properly anamnesis (the loss of amnesia)--although
it has individual significance for each of us--a quantum leap in perception,
identity, cognition, understanding, world--and self-experience, including
immortality--it has further and more truly ultimate importance for
the system (structure) as a whole, inasmuch as these memories (data)
are needed or valuable to it, and to its overall functioning.
Therefore it is in the process of
self-repair, which includes: rebuilding our subcircuit (world) via
linear and orthogonal time changes (sequences of events), as well
as continual signaling to us both en masse and individually (to us
received subliminally by the right brain hemisphere, which gestalts
the constituents of the messages into meaningful entities), to stimulate
blocked neural (memory) banks within us to fire and hence retrieve
what is there.
The adventitious information of gnosis, then, consists of disinhibiting
messages (instructions), with the core (main) content actually intrinsic
to us - that is, already there (first observed by Plato, that learning
is a form of remembering).
The ancients possessed techniques
(sacraments and rituals) used largely in the Greco-Roman mystery religions,
including early Christianity, to induce firing and retrieval, mainly
with a sense of its restorative (repairing) value to the individuals;
the Gnostics, however, and Mani correctly saw the ontological value
to what they called the Godhead Itself (i.e. the total entity).
(Note: While such "Enlightened"
spiritual leaders as Zoroaster, Mani, Buddha, and Elijah can be regarded
as receptors of the entity's total wisdom, Christ seems to have been
an actual terminal of this computerlike entity, in which case he did
not speak for it but was it. "Was," in this case, standing
for "consisted of a microform of it.")
* * *
The
Ten Major Principles of the Gnostic Revelation
The Gnostic Christians of the second
century believed that only a special revelation of knowledge rather
than faith could save a person. The contents of this revelation could
not be received empirically or derived a priori. They considered this
special gnosis so valuable that it must be kept secret. Here are the
ten major principles of the gnostic revelation:
- The creator of this world is demented.
- The world is not as it appears, in
order to hide the evil in it, a delusive veil obscuring it and the
deranged deity.
- There is another, better realm of
God, and all our efforts are to be directed toward
a: returning there
b: bringing it here
- Our actual lives stretch thousands
of years back, and we can be made to remember our origin in the
stars.
- Each of us has a divine counterpart
unfallen who can reach a hand down to us to awaken us. This other
personality is the authentic waking self; the one we have now is
asleep and minor. We are in fact asleep, and in the hands of a dangerous
magician disguised as a good god, the deranged creator deity. The
bleakness, the evil and pain in this world, the fact that it is
a deterministic prison controlled by the demented creator causes
us willingly to split with the reality principle early in life,
and so to speak willingly fall asleep in delusion.
- You can pass from the delusional
prison world into the peaceful kingdom if the True Good God places
you under His grace and allows you to see reality through His eyes.
- Christ gave, rather than received,
revelation; he taught his followers how to enter the kingdom while
still alive, where other mystery religions only bring about amnesis:
knowledge of it at the "other time" in "the other
realm," not here. He causes it to come here, and is the living
agency to the Sole Good God (i.e. the Logos).
- Probably the real, secret Christian
church still exists, long underground, with the living Corpus Christi
as its head or ruler, the members absorbed into it. Through participation
in it they probably have vast, seemingly magical powers.
- The division into "two times"
(good and evil) and "two realms" (good and evil) will
abruptly end with victory for the good time here, as the presently
invisible kingdom separates and becomes visible. We cannot know
the date.
- During this time period we are on
the sifting bridge being judged according to which power we give
allegiance to, the deranged creator demiurge of this world or the
One Good God and his kingdom, whom we know through Christ.
To know these ten
principles of Gnostic Christianity is to court disaster.
(now he tells us?)